Making a Pass at Me…I think I’ll Pass!
This piece has been sitting in my drafts for the past 12 months….
The majority of my articles are factual. I enjoy writing about injuries, performance, conditions and diseases. Why? Because they are facts, they straight to the point and I hope that by reading one of my pieces, the reader has taken something away from it.
But this one is different. I have even been contemplating publishing it because, to be honest, I was embarrassed!
As an Equine Massage Therapist my job consists of travelling all over the country, treating horses, meeting new clients, discussing treatment plans and liaising with horse owners and other Equine Professionals. The key factor in this is that I am alone. I travel to places I have never been in before, sometimes go into people's private property, ALONE.
I am a 31 year old woman. I would consider myself independent and street wise. To play the damsel in distress card would be against my nature.
Over the past 3 years I have been put in some really uncomfortable situations when doing my job. Comments have been made, inappropriate texts and sexual innuendos directed at me. I don’t want to paint one gender with the same brush. However, in my personal experience, this has all come from men of a particular older age, mainly 50+. Perhaps they come from a different generation where sexual harassment is more accepted.
In one case, I got a text from a man asking if I could treat a horse. Of course I replied immediately and arranged a time and date. He replied and agreed but on the condition that he could ‘take me out on a date’ in return. I nervously laughed it off and politely told him I was too busy.
To my relief, he cancelled the appointment and I never heard from him again. I have never been so relieved to get a cancellation in my life!
On another occasion a very well regarded man in the racing industry made vulgar remarks at me in front of his head lad. Feeling very cornered, I nervously laughed it off, trying to stay professional. I wanted to get the hell out of the yard as fast as I could.
“Do you like Irish men?”
“I prefer blondes.”
“Will you come out for drinks with me tonight? I’ll show you a good time.”
All of the above comments are a watered-down versions of what has been said... the rest I will leave to your imagination.
I am all up for a laugh and I understand ‘boys will be boys’ but I feel a line has been crossed and it will continue to be crossed. I normally laugh these kinds of situations off and move on. However, when I feel uncomfortable in these situations the quality of my work is compromised. My business is very important to me and I aim to provide the best service to every client. When I am put in this position I cannot be as professional as I would normally like. This is because I find myself just wanting to get the job done and get the hell out as quick as possible.
I suppose I am my own worst enemy in that when I am feeling uncomfortable, I do not speak up. I shrug it off and allow it to affect me mentally.
I realise that I need to set clear boundaries with men that in many cases, are old enough to be my father! I really think in this day and age we should all know better.
It calls into question...
Do male practitioners feel the same way?
Do male practitioners come across the same issues?
What measures are in place to protect practitioners in vulnerable situations?
I do not want to come across as an ultra feminist but I feel I am stuck between a rock and a hard place as a female in this industry. The next time a remark is made against me and I am made feel uncomfortable, if I speak out, I will most likely lose business. I frustrates me that I also may have to refuse business because I do not feel safe as a women.
I lose out on profitable business because of my gender.
